Bad

How do I get past the bad? That is really my goal. Don't get me wrong I have a lot of goals,
get organized, loose weight, blah blah blah. Really I just want to get past the bad in my head, my heart. I don't want the pain. I don't want the sad. I don't want the nervous questioning of myself constantly. It is such a tiresome load. I want to live, I am so afraid I am going to die.
I want to plan for my future, but I don't know how. I don't know how to get past this day. Each and every day. Maybe there really is something wrong with me, mentally, of course, and all of this is "normal" for crazy people. When my daughter and son are under the same roof as me I feel safer. Sad, but true. How do I feel safe in my own skin? Is that ever possible?